Parashat Lech Lecha: Who is Walking Beside You?

“the people we surround ourselves with can influence our decisions, our character, and the direction in which our lives move”

In this week’s parashah, Lech Lecha, HaShem commands Avraham Avinu to leave his land, his birthplace, and his father’s house and travel to a place that HaShem will show him. Avraham is being asked to step away from what is familiar and begin a new journey. This journey is not only about changing his location, but also about becoming the person HaShem wants him to become.

As I reflect on this parashah, I see a connection to the concept of “The Art and Science of Friendship” in Orrin Woodward’s book Resolved: 13 Resolutions for Life. One of the important lessons we can learn about friendship is that the people we surround ourselves with can influence our decisions, our character, and the direction in which our lives move.

Avraham’s journey teaches us that growth sometimes requires us to step outside our comfort zone. We may need to reconsider the people we spend our time with, the values we live by, and the relationships we choose to develop. This does not mean that we should abandon people whenever we disagree with them. Rather, we must understand that our friendships play an important role in shaping who we become.

We see an interesting example of this in the relationship between Avraham and his nephew Lot. Lot accompanies Avraham on his journey, and for a time, they travel together. However, as their possessions increase, a conflict develops between their shepherds. Avraham recognizes that the disagreement could damage their relationship, so he approaches Lot and says, “Let there be no strife between me and you” (Bereishit 13:8).

What can we learn from Avraham’s response? He understands that preserving peace is more important than allowing a disagreement to grow into a destructive conflict. Instead of insisting on having things his way, Avraham is willing to find a solution that allows them to separate peacefully.

This is an important lesson in the art of friendship. Friendship requires more than enjoying someone's company when everything is going well. It requires patience, humility, communication, and the ability to work through disagreements. Anyone can be a friend when there is something to gain, but a true friend understands the importance of respect, even when differences arise.

There is also a science to friendship. If we want to develop meaningful relationships, we must be intentional about how we build them. We need to invest time in others, listen to what they have to say, show genuine interest in their lives, and demonstrate through our actions that we value them. Friendship does not develop simply because we call someone a friend. It develops through consistent effort and the trust that is built over time.

We can also learn that not every person who travels with us through life will necessarily share the same destination. Avraham and Lot eventually go their separate ways. Their separation reminds us that people can be part of our lives for a particular period, even when our paths eventually lead in different directions. The challenge is to recognize these differences without allowing pride, resentment, or unnecessary conflict to control our behavior.

Another important lesson from Avraham is the influence that one person can have on others. The Torah describes Avraham and Sarah as bringing people closer to their belief in HaShem (Bereishit 12:5). Their lives were not limited to their own personal growth. They also influenced the people around them.

This gives us an important question to consider: Are we the kind of friends who help others become better people? Do our words and actions encourage those around us to grow, or do we contribute to the negativity in their lives? Friendship is not only about what we receive from others. It is also about what we contribute to their lives.

When we connect this idea to our relationship with HaShem, we can see that our spiritual journey is also influenced by the relationships we develop. The people around us can encourage us to strengthen our values, become more responsible, and make better choices. At the same time, we must take responsibility for the kind of influence we have on others.

The words Lech Lecha remind us that each of us has a journey to take. Along the way, we will meet different people, develop relationships, experience disagreements, and learn important lessons about ourselves. The question is whether we are making conscious choices about the people we allow to influence us and the kind of influence we want to have on them.

Ultimately, the art and science of friendship begins with personal responsibility. We cannot control every person we meet, but we can control how we treat others, the effort we put into our relationships, and the values we bring to our friendships.

Perhaps this is one of the lessons we can take from Parashat Lech Lecha: just as Avraham had to take the first step on his journey, we must also take the first step toward becoming better friends. We must be willing to listen, to compromise, to encourage others, and to recognize when a relationship needs to change.

As we continue our own journeys, may we learn to choose our friendships wisely, become the kind of friends we would want to have, and use our relationships as an opportunity to grow closer to HaShem and bring more goodness into the lives of others.