How Do We Measure Success?

“ the choices we make matter”

In life, we are constantly keeping score. Whether we realize it or not, we measure our progress by looking at what we have accomplished, what we have failed to accomplish, and how we compare ourselves to others. We keep score in our relationships, in our careers, and even in our personal development. But the real question is, what are we measuring, and who are we ultimately trying to please?

In Resolved: 13 Resolutions for Life, Orrin Woodward explores principles that can help us become more intentional about the way we live. The concept of keeping score in life challenges us to look at how we measure our progress and whether we are holding ourselves accountable for the things that truly matter.

We can find a connection to this concept in Parashat Noach. The Torah tells us, “Noach was a righteous man, perfect in his generations; Noach walked with G-d” (Bereishit 6:9). Noach lived in a generation that had become corrupt, yet he was recognized for his righteousness. While the people around him were making destructive choices, Noach maintained a different standard for his life.

This raises an important question: How do we measure our own lives? Do we measure ourselves by comparing our behavior to the people around us, or do we measure ourselves against the person HaShem expects us to become?

It is easy to feel that we are doing well when we compare ourselves to others. We may look at someone else's mistakes and convince ourselves that we are better because we have not made the same mistakes. But comparison can give us a false sense of accomplishment. Just because someone else is doing worse does not mean that we are doing our best.

Noach's generation reminds us that we cannot allow the behavior of others to determine our own standards. We are responsible for the choices we make, the way we treat people, and the effort we put into becoming better human beings. Our scorecard should not be based on whether we are better than someone else, but on whether we are making progress in our own lives.

Another important lesson comes from the fact that Noach was instructed to build the teivah, the ark. Building the ark required time, effort, patience, and consistent action. Noach could not complete this enormous task in a single day. He had to continue working toward the goal, even when the world around him did not share his understanding of what was coming.

This is also how we need to approach our lives. If we want to improve our character, strengthen our relationships, become more disciplined, or develop a closer relationship with HaShem, we must be willing to put in the work. We need to keep track of our actions and ask ourselves whether we are moving forward or simply repeating the same behaviors.

Keeping score is not about expecting perfection from ourselves. Rather, it is about being honest about where we stand. Did I fulfill my responsibilities today? Did I treat others with respect? Did I keep my word? Did I take a step toward becoming the person I want to be? These are the kinds of questions that help us evaluate our progress.

There is also a difference between keeping score to criticize ourselves and keeping score to hold ourselves accountable. If we focus only on our failures, we can become discouraged. But if we use our failures as opportunities to learn, we can turn them into tools for growth. The goal is not to dwell on yesterday's mistakes, but to use what we learned to make better choices tomorrow.

Parashat Noach teaches us that the choices we make matter, even when the world around us is going in a different direction. Noach could not control the behavior of his generation, but he could control his own actions. In the same way, we cannot control every circumstance in our lives, and we cannot force other people to change. What we can control is our own commitment to doing what is right.

Ultimately, the most important score we keep is the one that reflects the quality of our own lives. Are we growing? Are we taking responsibility? Are we fulfilling our purpose? Are we becoming more conscious of the decisions we make each day?

As we reflect on Parashat Noach, we should remember that a meaningful life is not measured by how we compare to others, but by the choices we make and the effort we put into living according to our values. Every day gives us another opportunity to evaluate our actions, correct our course, and take another step forward.

The question is not simply whether we are keeping score. The question is whether we are keeping score of the things that truly count.